Date with the "Devil"

"Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't"

Apparently it is better to do something that you know is bad (or slightly bad) then to do something you know is inherently bad.
Well... I did something.
I went on a "date" (I don't know for sure of that is what the incident was, however, I was asked out and treated to an outing and dinner AND drinks... so that may be a date) with my ex.

I think I just felt all of you eye roll me.

Look. I have no idea what is happening. AT ALL.
In fact, I came into this with a lot of questions, apprehensions and fears. And I was left, with even more.

I have no idea if it was a good or bad idea. I have no idea what it means. I have. Quite literally. NO. Idea.

I have friends that want me to decide what I want from it.
I don't know how to decide what I want... actually I do. It would require me to write and send him a 20 questions email full of open ended questions.
Yeah.
No guy in his right mind actually wants to do that.
So, I have to decided what to do....

This is what I have done:
a) got my heart broken.
b) shelved all feelings for the boy who did the breaking
c) boxed said feelings up and did not look at them for a month
d) threw myself into dating
e) was asked to be friends with said ex by said ex
f) lost my proverbial shit
g) confronted said ex about said request
h) became an emotional mess

yeah... that pretty much sums it up.

oh wait... i) asked on "date" with ex and j) went on "date" with ex.

now... THAT sums it up.


Now, I am "Between the Devil and the deep blue sea."