But also, there is not a lot happening to even make note of. Sadly.
Quickly though, I did not get the potential job in Seattle with my current company's home office. I am really still kind of upset about this... But apparently, as my mom says, these things happen for a reason.
Currently at work there was a huge outbreak of "I quit". We had 3 members of our management team just up and quit. We have spent the last month to month and a half rebuilding the staff and the store. And, I must say, we are kicking some ass. The place looks great and the staff we are building is phenom.
There is not an ounce of man-news to even report. It is almost pathetic.
I have none in my life. But, right now it is probably best, my head is 100% on work and trying to figure out a next "career" move. Even though I am convinced that I am doing and have done everything I can think of (for work).
I realize this dedication to work, I totally lack in searching for a man.
I mean, I've been putting in 50 hour weeks... I have no desire to do anything but go home and eat/sleep/chill.
I should have gone out this past week... I mean hello. THREE Mavs/Lakers games, the Rangers game last night... what was I doing those nights... sleeping/reading... at home.
I guess when your limit your social activity to work work and commuting home... you cut out a lot of chances for meeting people of the opposite sex.
But then again, as much as I like to think I can put myself out there and date again, I don't know if I can. I saw a guy I was "dating" a week or so ago out with his new girlfriend... and that, I wasn't ready to see it. I wasn't ready to meet her. I wasn't ready to talk as if the dude and I had never seen each other naked.
I still see most men around me as a potential torture device.
I can't shake the feeling that no matter how cool I play it (which is wrong, apparently) or how open/honest I play it (also, wrong) I lose. I still get the outcome I think I'd be getting.
I can only conclude that some how I am vibe-ing "damaged" or have some unknown expiration date tattoo'd on me that only guys can see.
So, with all that floating around in my head, I've thrown in the towel.
I have no desire to go out and put myself out there only to be smacked down by the universe. It hurts too much. How long do you put up with this result before you go, "wtf why am I not getting results? why can't I get any positive reinforcement?"
Yeah.
That.
So unless the next guy I date is already met me or come waltzing (literally) through the doors at work... My focus is work. Because if there is one thing I have learned out of all of this... You have to take care of yourself first (and most and possibly above all else).
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