Pretty Natural Disaster

I went out last night (shocker) after work.

I had the strongest desire to not do it. Like every bone in my body was telling me not to do it. But everyone around me has been trying to get me to... so I caved. Hard.

This did not go as well as planned. But seeing how it was a) un-planned and b) I didn't want to do it, how high could the expectation be. Not. Very.

This is why it was a mistake.

I know, there is something un-healed about me. I've been trying to work and write my way out of it, but I'm still not out yet. I didn't need my friend, pointing out my obvious damage as we sat at the bar.

I didn't need him telling me how damaged I looked. I thought I was hiding it well... But he has known me for 10 years. He said, it was in my eyes. And if you know me, at all, you know there is a total lack of poker face in my face. I cannot hide anything no matter how hard I try.

I started wondering just how deep this damage is and how to wipe it off my face.

But then my thoughts wandered. Like they tend to do... Everything with force (positive or negative) leaves an impact, such as natural disasters (I don't know how positive natural disasters can be, beyond population control, but even then that seems harsh).

So... I wager, that all heartbreaks have a corresponding natural disaster equivalent.

Flood/Tsunami

Water rushes in, destroying everything in it's wake, then goes away. No proof it was there, until you see a school bus upside down on a billboard or something.

I've had that break up. You don't really see it coming (but you feel it might), then suddenly your world is upside down, and your left with soaking wet memories of what was. No real proof that it happened other than, currently there is nothing there; at before, something was there.

Earthquake

The shifting of plates below. Some subtle, the gentle fissures of plates grating against one another. Others, the earth shaking dramatic shifts that level cities and create a new landscape.

I've had this one too. Everything is literally fine and then one second it is not. Things are falling, shaking and breaking apart and in the end you are surrounded by rubble trying to be ok about the aftershocks. To me, this is the ex that pops up whenever you life is seemingly back on track with out him.

Volcano

The violent explosion of lava out of the earth after the warning signs of smoke and ash and previous eruptions.

I think this is most break ups. You can see the tale-tale signs of the break up coming. So you can prepare... You just can't time the eruption. Even then, post-eruption, there is still time to escape some types of lava flow.

See.. damage.

Every single one of these instances has a damage outcome.

Some mess to clean up.

I'm still in the clean up phase.... well no, I'm done cleaning up. But I still get the shakes every time the alarms go off, or the windows start to rattle. I'm scared.

I've survived multiple disasters. Each with different outcomes.

But out of the fear, is a sense of preparedness. The desire to not let myself be caught off guard again, or to at least have my survival pack full of supplies.