Why I Hate Gotye or the Stalker's Lament, as I like to call it.

OK, we all know that stupid song by Goyte; “Somebody I Used to Know”… This song, annoys me more than just about anything else on the planet. I mean, seriously. This fucking song.

It is really the lyrics that spawned my unequivocal hatred for it. I mean, really this song is 4 minutes of whining about just how fucking broken hearted he is about his loss of a girl.

 I get it… break-ups blow. That’s why it is a break up. And everyone has earned the right to write a hit song about it (Taylor Swift, I’m looking at you) and whine and cry and have your breakdown about it sponsored by Haagan Dazs. I however, reserve the right to hate it—and critique it (see below).

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
I get it. He is lamenting the love. I understand that. Nothing hurts worse than feeling alone, in a relationship. Also, it hurts knowing you thought they were the one, but they are not. Very. Sad. This part is not bad. In fact, it is a somber, contemplative verse—when it could have opened with a wailing “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…”

You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end 
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
Now, here you can see the start of a downward depressive (dog) spiral. I mean opening the next verse with “addicted to a certain kind of sadness”—pop an Xanax, or do some of my implied yoga. Everyone know when you say “be friends” this means on Facebook… or friend-ly, like I won’t stalk you, break into your home, try to kill your pets, destroy your car and tell all of your friends (and his) vicious nasty un-true things about you. Were you glad, Mr. Goyte? Were, you—if you REALLY were, I doubt this song would exists.

But you didn't have to cut me off 
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing 
I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
This negates your last bit about resignation and “gladness.” Maybe she had to cut you off. You sound like a bit of a wet blanket. And If you were said blanket, then it might be better that she acted like you were nothing in the end. And I venture to say that even if you don’t “need” her love, you clearly want/miss or are in denial about it.  OH it feels rough?? Well, I guess you are not a Alpaca fiber blanket.

No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
Guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Look, dude… she didn't want to see you, or put up with your wet-blanket- lament, while you bemoan your part in the break-up. And she changed her number to avoid the annoying crying voice-mails you would have left—or did leave, after you realized she changed her number. And sir, she is someone you used to know—used to date, used to fuck.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believin it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know-oh-oh
Ms. Kimbra chimes in here as the Girlfriend. And she firstly states off your parts in the break-up. I guess you thought you did no wrong? AND of course you couldn't let it go. I mean really. You’re writing a damn song about it instead of moving on or into therapy for it like the rest of us. And she can’t catch you, she is changing numbers (and locks I bet) and sending her BFFFE’s to collect her things (NOT leaving shit behind a la T-Swift).

The rest is just about Mr. Goyte whining about how he is just “somebody” she “used to know.” I refuse to post anymore of those lyrics because as I read them, I want to put him down like Old Yeller. I mean, the whole song is one by “Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! *sob* *cry* WHHyyyyyyyyyy!!!!” 

So, If you like this song (in any way BESIDES a break-up guide of how not to behave and/or write a break-up song) you can Go Fuck Yourself.

Benefits of Friendship

I guess it is just the way of the world... you think things are ok (you really think they are) and BOOOM it is the "Big Game" and your phone is blowing up with the type of messages that take all of your self control not to put your phone through the huge picture window of the living room of the friends house you are at watching said "Big Game".

I am getting a little ahead of myself.
I should explain what lead up to the messages...

PLEASE NOTE: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN BLOG-HISTORY I WILL BE POSTING VERBATIM WHAT HAS BEEN SAID. THE ONLY EDIT BEING MADE WILL BE THE REMOVAL OF NAMES AND LOCATIONS.

I got a message on Feb. 5th. On Facebook. From my Ex. The same one who was beside himself (I can only hilariously imagine) that we were no longer friends on Facebook.

He said: "i guess i was naïve in thinking that we didn't have to not be friends (including fb) just because we can't make a relationship work."

I could not believe this... I mean, 1) the umlaut. really. I don't even know the keyboard short cut for that. But also, 2) the double negative... it sounds like it was translated via babblefish.
My gut reaction: WTF. WTF? WTF! vomit omgicannotbelievethisfuckingguy. ohhhhhreally. whhhhaaaaaatanaaassshole. I couldn't wrap my head around this. AT ALL. Somewhere between un-friending him and taking my Netflix back... He realized we were no longer friends?

I replied: "I don't understand what this means...Do you want to be friends?
Because your silence on every front doesn't indicate that you do..."
I probably shouldn't have replied.
But, this message hit me somewhere. I can't pinpoint it. It wasn't brokenhearted-ness.
It was betrayal.
I felt betrayed. If some one wanted to be my friend wouldn't they have sent me more then a sentence? Wouldn't they thank me or return my gifts from the great January Ditch? Wouldn't my "friend" answer the phone when I was worried about my mom's surgery?
My REAL friends do those things... they thank. They inquire. They know.
They also know better than to work with me via Facebook for such an emotional transaction.

He said: "yeah i do want to be friends. and im not just saying facebook. i want to be your friend.
i realize that that is not exactly the simplest of avenues at this point." Gut reaction: YOU'VE GOTTA BEFUCKINGKIDDINGME. really? "simplest avenues? ugh. right. ok. because our relationship was a walk in the fucking park??

I couldn't believe this was happening.
I was convinced it was over. Every shred of any level of relationship that would have been possible... gone. Shattered. At his hand.

Well... heh, that is not gonna fly, right? I mean, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

So, I text him. And what transpires next is a 2 act play called While You Were Texting

ACT I

The scene opens on a girl, in her 20's sitting in her car, at a gas station. Having just run in and purchased a pack of cigarettes, a Rockstar (sugar-free) and 10 dollars in gas. The yellow glow of the gas station illuminates the car, where we see her bent over her phone.
FEMALE NARRATOR: "You want us to be friends?"
Girl looks around, leans head on driver's side window, stares off into highway on horizon.


The light comes up on a guy, in his late 20's, propped up with multiple pillows, under covers basking in the blue glow of a tv screen. Phone in hand, head bent in careful preparation.
MALE NARRATOR: "I guess that is not possible then."

Scene lights back up on the girl and her friends sitting around a table surrounded by empty glasses and bottles. Girl grabs her phone to check time. Looks startled. Looks around at her friends and back at her phone and types.
FEMALE NARRATOR: "Not impossible."

ACT II

Split-Scene opens up on the girl and 2 girl friends in a HUGE living room, on an L shaped couch. Football game on, loud. Surrounded by a smattering of pillows, blankets, food, plates, cans and bottles on one side. Opens up on a guy, in his late 20's, propped up with multiple pillows, under covers basking in the blue glow of a tv screen. Phone in hand, head bent in careful preparation.

--Girls' phone vibrates, she looks, and rolls her eyes.

-- Guys' phone vibrates, he looks.

-- Girls' phone vibrates, she looks and rolls her eyes.
MALE NARRATOR: (flat voice) "You were my best friend for over a year. And I would like to be able to have some sort of a friend ship with you."
FEMALE NARRATOR: (with an edge) "I was your girlfriend for over a year."
MALE NARRATOR: (flat)"Both of course. But we don't seem to be able to have a real relationship together without making one or the other unhappy."
FEMALE NARRATOR: (angry) "I don't know how to discuss this with you via text. I feel very strongly about how things ended with us. And it sounds like you want me to disregard that because you want to be friends."
--Girls' phone vibrates, she looks. Anger rising, shifts position away from her girl friends.
-- Girl tosses phone away from her.
-- Guys' phone vibrates, he looks.
MALE NARRATOR: (flat) "I'm not trying to get you to disregard anything between us. I realize now that what I'm saying seems disrespectful to you, and that was not my intention."
-- Girl sees light flashing on her phone. Reaches for it.
FEMALE NARRATOR: (really fucking angry) "Then why would you say it??"
-- Guys' phone vibrates, he looks.
MALE NARRATOR: (flat) "I don't know how you felt before."
-- Girls' phone vibrates, she looks. Rolls her eyes.
FEMALE NARRATOR: (still really fucking angry) "You broke my heart. How did you not know that?"
-- Girl walks away from friends, plugs phone into charger.
MALE NARRATOR: (flat)"That's not what I mean."

10 minutes later

Girl has phone in her hand sitting on couch. Rolls her eyes.
FEMALE NARRATOR: (irritated) "Then what did you mean?"
MALE NARRATOR: (flat) "I didn't know you thought my inquiry on being friends was disrespectful."
--Girls' phone vibrates. She looks. Puts phone down. Takes a deep breath
FEMALE NARRATOR: (slow even tone)"To me It is after the way things have gone."
-- Guys' phone vibrates. He looks.
MALE NARRATOR: (flat) "I'm not trying to be a disturbance in your life any more that I have been. I mean to mend, and if that's not possible then I can stay away."
-- Girls phone vibrates. She looks. Defeat crosses her face, then a wave of anger.
FEMALE NARRATOR: (even tone) "We'd have to talk in person. I can't do this like this."
MALE NARRATOR: "We can do that."

FIN

There you go readers, word for word, plus my reaction to this messages I received that night.
And from here, I have pondered many outcomes. Being friends, not being friends. And if it is possible to do that after the path we have already been on.

I feel... He was never my friend during the relationship. Someone who was pretty much obligated (we were bf/gf after all) to care, and be there for me. Wasn't. He was never there in the capacity I needed.
And to be honest. I need my friends, more than I need a boyfriend (sorry boys... you will always be a second to my BFFFE and my cousin. Simple fact.) So, in reality, it would be easier for him to be my boyfriend.

So... I've been mulling over the facts.
And while doing so, my phone has been silent.
In a way, it is a relief.
In a way, it is just giving me more time to consider what to do.

I know, you're probably thinking that I want him back.
I don't. Not now.
And likely, not ever... in any capacity.