Emotional Real Estate

I used to think a guy saying he is "Emotionally Unavailable" was a total line... now, I don't doubt that it totally is. I also, however, actually understand that statement.

And I am not using it as a line.

I was recently asked out by a kid (I say kid because he is younger than I am, and anyone younger than me is considered a kid). And, just that look on his face as he is talking to me, and his body language... It is all screaming "I am so into you."

I hate venturing into a situation where one person is much much more into the other than the other person.

Anyway, this kid... he is all wide eye'd and eager to take me out... with all the cuteness and charm that comes with a Irish Setter Puppy (a well trained one).

And I can't help but look at him and see.... nothing.

I see nothing with him, I feel nothing for him. Nothing meaning deep feelings of attraction or whatever. I do however feel extremely flattered that he is just that into me. But that is it.

I feel like I need to make him sign a release form before going out with me.

Something to free me of any guilt/liability that may cause this youngsters heart to break.

Or at least a month to month agreement that nothing is my fault and that he has willing ventured into the arduous task of attempting to try and take me out on a date.

Yes, month to month, I haven't said yes.

It is situations like this that I realize I am not a starter kit.

I am not for the unskilled hands of hapless beginners.

I have been through some shit, and at times, it shows.

Newbs don't know what to do with that.

It's not like there is a support group for guys dating damaged goods girls (IDEA!!!).

hahaha, "Hi my name is _____, and I am dating a DGG"

Maybe, I am just worried because I am a mostly nice person (when I want to be) who doesn't like to inflict (undue) pain on anyone.

Or could it be that I am just feeling the affect of having my heart pulled from someone so far away from me that it doesn't feel real, and I am just comparing this to a random act of interest (which is better than a random act of kindness).

And who knows, maybe a date wouldn't be such a bad thing. I maintain with my circle of gf's that a "girl's gotta eat, girl's gotta drink" mentality-- I never said I was good about taking my own advice. And it could be fun, or at least interesting.

But there is a huge part of me that is saying don't waste your time. You know you don't want this. Oh and you are totally into someone else somewhere else.

So now what... I sit here, over my Ghengis Grill concoction thinking it over.

I don't have an answer.

Becuase I realize my answer depends on others.

Can I hinge my heart (again) on something I cannot tell (as of yet) is real (or not)? Can I spend time with someone only to potentially hurt them in the end?

Ugh. Such is the plight of the seemingly single gal.

I am sure the answer is much more simple than where I am looking.

Because the Devil is always in the details.